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Sunday, August 31, 2008
Its Monday today! Strangely, I don't feel the usual Monday blues..wait..why blues?.. Why not Monday pinks? kk, anyways, well, I'm sure you guys have heard..I just quit sailing..like permanently.. it was an effed up decision, I know..but I just had to do it I guess..and honestly, I didn't take it really well.when i finally got the courage to quit, tears just flooded my eyes. I just couldn't stop crying.. I know, I cried, but that's still not going to change my mind.. yes, I know, I really love sailing, its my passion and everything. I know, but really have to do this.. there will be friends, and people whom I'll miss big time, and one person whom I hope I'd forget forever..ok, so you all think that I quit sailing cause of exams and studies, well, I'm just using that as an excuse to hide the real reason.. ok, and today, i finally have the courage to blog about it.. so, I'm sure like the whole world knows the whole thing bout me having a crush on Andrew lee, well, fine, I admit, its not a rumor, and, sigh..I really really like him. its all true k? about me liking him since I was primary 6, and blah blah blah.. I did tell him that I like him, on msn..but he always changed the subject, and never gave me an answer, but idk, I still continued trying.. I kept asking him, and then there was the Geraldine phenomena, and the the Evelyn phenomena.. and everything just got screwed up. I know I said I'd forget bout drew, but some how, something just kinda stopped me.. during the Geraldine period, i tried to forget him, I said I'll let her have him, and I'll just back off. but I couldn't. Andrew HAD to go say he didn't like her, and Taylor Swift HAD to release 'teardrops on my guitar' during that period. fcuk fcuk fcuk. and whenever I attempt to forget drew, I just don't seem myself. negative thoughts run through my mind..stuff.and in just not the old Soap..the fun, gay, retarded one.. liking Andrew was a mistake. I thought I could win him, but I guess I was just very wrong. its just not meant to be. So fine, God, if its not meant to be, why cant you help me forget bout him? God knows. I mean, you've seen how much I'm hurting myself, how depressed I am. why is it that every time I try to forget him, something happens, and i cant get him out of my head. since there's nothing between us, why? WHY? my friends miss the old Soap, I miss the old me. therefore, I had to make this harsh decision of dropping out of sailing. I'm taking matters into my own hands now. by dropping out, I would not be reminded of Andrew, I wont hear the rumors, i wont think of Andrew. and this all better be worth it. I'd better forget that boy. I'm really sorry. I know i don't want this either, but its for the benefit of everyone. Well, for some reason that drew rejected me, I just want andrew to know that I'm sorry, I cant be perfect, and I'm really sorry for all the times I pissed you off and stuff, and oh, of course, bye bye. I figured i dont deserve a friend like you.. andrew is just perfect in every way, some people dont see that, but, all I know, I totally see it in him.and, now, to address the next issue. qin wei. my good friend.. or aka polly. but i call her boobie, so boobie and i were like damn good friends, did stuff together, nonsensical stuff, retarded stuff, we went for concerts and stuff. yeah, everything was great. During my times of depression and stuff, boobie would be there to pick me up, and help my. qin wei was like more than a friend to me, maybe like a sister, or even a guardian angel. but seriously man, hear me out. this time i seriously have got no idea about anything. so boobie and i were supposed to go for drum festival. she said she'd go for the one on saturday with me..our usual gig thang.. so i smsed her on friday to remind her, and she didnt reply. so i thought, erm, ok, maybe she forgot, so i was at town and the gigs didnt seem so happening as i expected. so i decided to call polly, to cancel it.. but, she didnt pick up..and then i messaged her again. and no reply.. so on monday, back in schol, i figured that she was daoing me, so in return, i daoed her back. i know, childish, BUT SHE STARTED IT! and there. idk. we're just not talking, so stop asking.
kisses; at 7:02 PM
Sarah Ann Heng
16
THERESIAN
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