sarah's blog.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

So, well, I guess this is it. Maybe? Forever? I gotta say bye. Am I actually doing this.. Can I actually do this? Forget him? He cant even decode my sopiDA VINCI codes. So.. I gotta move on dear? Of course I'm not leaving without one final code.

this time I'm right to move on and on far away from here.Give me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye.Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you.'Cause I'm afraid and stuck in my ways.Selfish beneath the skin but deep inside I'm not insane.Now that I've LOST you it kills me to say,I've tried to hold on as you've slowly slipped away. I'm LOSING the fight.Took away the only thing I loved I'd run away tonight with my mind still intact, you gotta make it alright. I won't struggle on in a world so cold.In a world so wrong.I love you. I may not be perfect but I've always been true I may not be worthy in your eyes. If I was perfect,then this would be easy. Either road's plausible.On both I could drown.We all need that person who can be true to you.Can't help but think of the times I've had with you.I love you. Cry alone, I've gone away. No more nights, no more pain. Please don't forget me, or cry while I'm away.I look back and see the twisted road. Best friends and despair took it's toll. You can't be replaced.He's gone. Nothing will take back time.I need him back, but nothing will take back time. I can see just fine, with you in my life.I love you. These feelings can't be right, lend me your courage to stand up. to challenge me you must be strong.two million soldiers can't be wrong.
Two in my heart have left me awhile.
My life, you've always been there. Now you're gone, and my head's spinning.
Never will I forget you, and all the memories past,
So rarely I get to see your face.
My heart's always with you now
Growing I looked to you in guidance,
The stars in the night, they lend me their light
We knew that time would kill us, but you're still so close to me.
to bring me closer to heaven with you

To me you were my life,
To me you were my soul companion.
Now you are so far away,
Nothing can take away the times, and the memories we've had.
It's empty, and cold without you here.I don't want to leave you.a melody, a memory, or just one Picture.The wind of life and air from above smells of death.I love you. Angels sing of the end. Nothing you say and nothing you try will change time. Human race prepares to die."I'll try," she said as he walked away.Tried not to LOSE you.Two vibrant hearts could change.I love you. When time soaked with blood turns it's back.Confided in me was your heart I know it's hurting you, but it's killing me.When some fail, while other men seem to gain, but friends I'll be with you here until the end.I love you. I'll never feel alone again with you by my side.You're the one, and in you I confide more. And we have gone through good and bad times. I love you. I give my heart to you.I give my heart, cause nothing can compare in this world to you.

Sound familiar? yeah, maybe its easier to decode using avenged sevenfold.

kisses; at 4:00 PM

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Its Monday today! Strangely, I don't feel the usual Monday blues..wait..why blues?.. Why not Monday pinks? kk, anyways, well, I'm sure you guys have heard..I just quit sailing..like permanently.. it was an effed up decision, I know..but I just had to do it I guess..and honestly, I didn't take it really well.when i finally got the courage to quit, tears just flooded my eyes. I just couldn't stop crying.. I know, I cried, but that's still not going to change my mind.. yes, I know, I really love sailing, its my passion and everything. I know, but really have to do this.. there will be friends, and people whom I'll miss big time, and one person whom I hope I'd forget forever..ok, so you all think that I quit sailing cause of exams and studies, well, I'm just using that as an excuse to hide the real reason.. ok, and today, i finally have the courage to blog about it.. so, I'm sure like the whole world knows the whole thing bout me having a crush on Andrew lee, well, fine, I admit, its not a rumor, and, sigh..I really really like him. its all true k? about me liking him since I was primary 6, and blah blah blah.. I did tell him that I like him, on msn..but he always changed the subject, and never gave me an answer, but idk, I still continued trying.. I kept asking him, and then there was the Geraldine phenomena, and the the Evelyn phenomena.. and everything just got screwed up. I know I said I'd forget bout drew, but some how, something just kinda stopped me.. during the Geraldine period, i tried to forget him, I said I'll let her have him, and I'll just back off. but I couldn't. Andrew HAD to go say he didn't like her, and Taylor Swift HAD to release 'teardrops on my guitar' during that period. fcuk fcuk fcuk. and whenever I attempt to forget drew, I just don't seem myself. negative thoughts run through my mind..stuff.and in just not the old Soap..the fun, gay, retarded one.. liking Andrew was a mistake. I thought I could win him, but I guess I was just very wrong. its just not meant to be. So fine, God, if its not meant to be, why cant you help me forget bout him? God knows. I mean, you've seen how much I'm hurting myself, how depressed I am. why is it that every time I try to forget him, something happens, and i cant get him out of my head. since there's nothing between us, why? WHY? my friends miss the old Soap, I miss the old me. therefore, I had to make this harsh decision of dropping out of sailing. I'm taking matters into my own hands now. by dropping out, I would not be reminded of Andrew, I wont hear the rumors, i wont think of Andrew. and this all better be worth it. I'd better forget that boy. I'm really sorry. I know i don't want this either, but its for the benefit of everyone. Well, for some reason that drew rejected me, I just want andrew to know that I'm sorry, I cant be perfect, and I'm really sorry for all the times I pissed you off and stuff, and oh, of course, bye bye. I figured i dont deserve a friend like you.. andrew is just perfect in every way, some people dont see that, but, all I know, I totally see it in him.

and, now, to address the next issue. qin wei. my good friend.. or aka polly. but i call her boobie, so boobie and i were like damn good friends, did stuff together, nonsensical stuff, retarded stuff, we went for concerts and stuff. yeah, everything was great. During my times of depression and stuff, boobie would be there to pick me up, and help my. qin wei was like more than a friend to me, maybe like a sister, or even a guardian angel. but seriously man, hear me out. this time i seriously have got no idea about anything. so boobie and i were supposed to go for drum festival. she said she'd go for the one on saturday with me..our usual gig thang.. so i smsed her on friday to remind her, and she didnt reply. so i thought, erm, ok, maybe she forgot, so i was at town and the gigs didnt seem so happening as i expected. so i decided to call polly, to cancel it.. but, she didnt pick up..and then i messaged her again. and no reply.. so on monday, back in schol, i figured that she was daoing me, so in return, i daoed her back. i know, childish, BUT SHE STARTED IT! and there. idk. we're just not talking, so stop asking.

kisses; at 7:02 PM